How The Blessing Can Answer Your Most Troubling “Why?”

By: John Trent, Ph.D.

Simon Sinek is an outstanding speaker and thinker. Take a look at his TED talk on the golden circle. It’s a metaphor for what is most important to a leader, a coach, or anyone trying to figure out relationships — or even how to sell things. At the center of his talk, and the circle that he draws, is the word why. Because if you don’t take the time to answer that “why” – you can keep spinning in emotional circles – stuck and never really move towards a special future.

I believe that is a major reason why this message of the Blessing has helped so many people over the years. And be of great help to you. Because at the heart of this amazing biblical concept is an answer to not only our most troubling “Why?” questions – but freedom as well.  

For me, personally, it was in digging into the Blessing where I found out “why” my own father bailed out on our family when we were young. (Based on his background). Why he emotionally stayed away from us even after I’m met him decades later. (Based on his terrible war experiences). And “why” it was so emotionally difficult – even when I’d never met him - to have someone that important “step away” and choose not to bless me.

The Blessing helped me find that “why” for so much of the hurt I’d experienced in the past. But it did much more as well. For in understanding that Blessing that I missed – I found a path towards caring, attachment, communicating love and acceptance I’d missed in the process. And it’s so much easier to move towards something you can see!

In short, once I got God’s blessing – and realized how important the Blessing was to others. I suddenly realized I had had a huge road sign in front of me I could follow to build a strong family! I could reverse the curse of subtraction and hurt! As you’ll find out in these blogs and in the book, The Blessing, those 5 elements it lays out are at the heart of what clinical research says makes great, lasting relationships and friendships as well!

But perhaps you’re wondering “why” one concept – the Blessing – can really be that significant? Let’s start with that “why.”

In Genesis 27, there is a familiar story to many of two young men. One walks out of his father’s presence joyful. The other twin was beyond heartbroken. That’s because one son received his father’s “blessing” – and the other did not. In fact, we’re told, “He cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, ‘Bless me — me also, O my father!’ . . . ‘Have you not reserved a blessing for me?’ . . . And Esau lifted up his voice and wept.” (Gen. 27:34, 36, 38).

I had read about Jacob and Esau numerous times before that night. The story of one brother getting his father’s blessing—and of the other being tricked out of it. But all of a sudden, as I sat in my study years ago, it was like Almighty God opened my eyes and the scales fell off. Now I had a name for that incredible longing I’d been experiencing in my own life. And, as a counseling student, that I’d seen in hurting people I’d counseled within my office and sat alongside at the psychiatric hospital.

Esau had missed the Blessing. And it touched on a huge, love stopping or life propelling gift.

Without even knowing all that there was to Esau’s cry right then, it was like a light turned on in my own mind and heart. That blessing, even though I didn’t fully understand it, was something I knew I had longed for all my life with my own father, who had left our home when I was two months old.

But, as you’ll learn here, and in the book, our earthly parent’s “blessing” really links with the deepest desire we have. To have the God who created us “open the door” to us. Accept us. Affirm us. Choose us. (See the blog titled, “The Blessing Opens that Most Important Door.”).

The Blessing originated in God’s giving us life and His blessing. But it sets before us a “choice” as well.  Either to bless others or to withhold the Blessing from them. (See the blog titled, “Why the Blessing is Linked to a Crucial Choice.”).  

Keep reading – and we urge you to take the Blessing Challenge and dig even further into our Blessing online course and book. In so many ways… it’s a God-given gift to help answer your “Why?”

Dr. John Trent is a best-selling, award-winning author and speaker, of books like The Two Sides of Love, the Language of Love, and The Blessing (which has sold over 2 million copies). He is the President and Founder of StrongFamilies, a 501c3 he runs with his oldest daughter. StrongFamilies is dedicated to helping others end loneliness and create genuine attachment through The Blessing.